Words and action both hurts

What are relationship when we don’t see ourselves but someone steps into your life and acts like they walked in your shoes. They point out things that are harsh and it burns into our souls when we know we are not like that. We face the heartaches and it messes around with our heads. But they act like they are prefect when they are actually insecure about themselves. The most twisted part is when everyone knows how insecure they are. Why do people step on others for they’re own issues? Do people feel good afterwards when they make themselves look good. People go around and around thinking what they do is “Love”. 
I’ve walked in my shoes on my past relationship and I call those actually “Love” then having someone say this is “Love and protection”. I’ve been a protective lover and a chill lover before. But I never had needed to point out someone else’s insecurities in my past. Why? Because I look at it as we’re all different people, we been on different roads and we’re born from different parent. That’s just who we are. Having someone step on you and say the most ridiculous things to you everyday it hurts. You think to yourself why are these people stepping on you? Why are they acting like you done something wrong? Why are they even trying to talk about what you wear, look or who your friends are? 
Imagine being a relationship, where you see forever with that person and you never felt that with anyone. They care about you and show their soft side to you. They have flaws but it was flaws that showed who they were and it was sincere. Now imagine those flaws turn into someone that you don’t even know them anymore. The flaws that start turning you into someone you don’t know anymore because of them. You lose yourself. You start to think what do you have to lose anymore at this point. You start to get scared of who you want to get close with. You start to get scared of being attached to someone again. Because heartaches hurt. Words hurt. Action hurts. 


Happy birthday little brother 

Wherever you are in the world now I hope your happy up there. It’s your birthday today and I can’t get over the fact that your gone now. It hurts inside to know but I know you waited for me to go. The last time I saw you was the day you pass, and hours after you left. I got to spend those last few hours holding your arms and it was the most memorable moment. It was the only thing I could do in the end from all the tough patches we been through. 

I still remember we all went camping as a group and I got so mad at you. Because you brought a minor with us! I wish I didn’t get mad at you but I did because that mines he was under our supervision. Remember your first heartbreak? I remember your buddy at that time couldn’t handle it so he gave the phone to you, I was there listening to you and giving you advice. It was heartbreaking but after that you learned what was real. 

In 2013 we got really close like brothers and sisters. Your family treated me like their own. I would come over for nails and your sister would always call me chi. Till this day your family still treats me like their and I’m blessed. When things in 2013 got too bumpy for me you saved me. You call me everyday to check up on me. When we use to hit up raves and club I would always have to pretend to be your girl to get pass security. But it worked and we had a fun time! 

Your one of the realist, honest and heartwarming person I’ve ever met. I know you made a bad desicision in life and life took you over. But everyday I still miss you and hate the fact that one of my closest people that I love is gone. I miss you, happy birthday brother. 


Some people never change…

No one is rich, everyone who got rich worked their ass off. Everyday everyone goes to work or school to get to where they want. Why do some people think it’s right to steal? What do you get out of it? You get nothing put being behind bars. It’s crazy how people think no one will find out. Like do you never think what are the consequences are when you steal? You lose your job, you get kick out of school, you can’t travel and worst you go to jail. Does that not scare people ever? I don’t know about you but that scares me. So why do people think it’s right to steal?

People steal because their lazy, they don’t want to work and just want to take the easy way out. But people don’t realize that the easy way out is actually the hard way out because what are you going to do now that your behind bars? When you take the hard way out from the beginning the easier it gets in time. The way I look at things, people who steal is don’t have a heart for the innocent people who never did anything, who mind their own business and who are hard working people. People assume a certain someone is rich because they have a house, nice cars and luxury things. People, they are not rich! Everyone just works their butt off.

It sickens me to see people who steals. But maybe it is true some people just never change, they will never grow up. I think to myself, don’t you feel bad for what you do? Don’t you want to be a better you? Today I realize some people just stay as who they are. I don’t feel sorry or anything for those people because they’re just selfish about themselves. I use to forgive everyone who had walked into my life, but as I start to get a bit older I asked why should I? If they respect me they wouldn’t go around disrespecting me. Karma is a bitch, sometimes people don’t know what will come to them when they choose the wrong route in life. Until they get caught. That’s when it’s justice.


Don’t call it quits


Had you ever took the time to be grateful of wherever city you live in? Or took the time to just appreciate the details when you look at a view of your city? We take where we live for granted while others are dying to be here. The only time that we ever think about being grateful are those nights when we just want to escape from reality, not face your problems and just wish everything goes away. I’ve done it many times and the best escape is when your alone feeling the breeze of wind, hearing the tide of the ocean and looking at the city light. It makes you appreciate what you have more because you see a beautiful city from far and realize you don’t need more. All you need is yourself to be here. Sometimes what you escape from you got to look at the bigger picture in life, its a mistake that everyone makes. They don’t realize that they make their problems bigger when it was small. I do that all the time, in the end I lose myself and I let my emotions take over me. All there is are just negative thoughts running around my mind. When anger plus unstable emotions equals stubbornness and selfishness. You light up a cigarette, open a bottle or light up a j and get high. But in reality the aftermath makes it worst. The last toke of smoke makes you regret what just happened, the liquor hits you deep inside your soul with tears and the high makes you mad at yourself. What good does this bring you? Why not have a smoke and enjoy it? Why not drink for celebration? Why not get high when your having a good time? Why do we all over do this to our body when things aren’t going well? The answer is to temporary numb the pain. But we don’t see how good we have it already. At my weakest, the only thing I want to do is take a stroll to the park, take a drive down the beach but then realize in the end I got to face reality. The best thing to do is think of the good things, think of how far you came already, put on your crown and just put up with it. Put on a emotionless face and don’t call it quits now. Ten years down the road, you look back on your weakest think and will thank yourself that you never gave up. Quit your bad habits but never quit on who you are as a person.


Life – Just be you

Life is a circle, that goes around and around. We always question ourselves “What are we doing with our life?”, “Why do we get up everyday just to make money, pay bills but yet decease in the end?”, “What is the purpose of life?”, “Why do we have to go through so many problems in our life just to be decease?”, “What do these life lesson mean?”, “Why do people become sick when they did nothing wrong?” or “Why is life so complicated sometimes?” The answer to all of these question is no one really knows.. I can’t tell you how many times i ask myself “Where in the world do everything go in the future?” I wanted to start blogging because i have so much to ask but so much to say about obstacles that pop up in life. My blog can talk about anywhere from life experience to what i feel when i sit down with a cup of tea in my hand or just about what happens in my kitchen. My boyfriend once ask me if i was to blog what would i blog about and how is it going to be different from other blogs. What if you wasted all that time blogging and you didn’t have a single soul that pass by your blog, your just not going to be confident anymore. With anger taking over me, I didn’t know how to answer because my mind was blank. But as i start thinking about it and i thought it never hurts to try and it never hurts to just be you. That was when i thought about my blog name “Just be you.” It doesn’t matter if no one reads this because this is what i want to do on my spare time. Who knows what will happen, I’m not here wishing on anything. If it gets me to where i want to be, well then I put my mind to what i wanted to do. Those of you out there contemplating on what you think is a good idea, just do it. You will never know what the outcome would be unless you try it. Life is short, if something you want to try but think your going to get laugh at, your not alone. Don’t have people of what they think ruin what you want to do, all that matters is your happy. When you get there whoever was laughing at you, do you think they will laugh at you anymore? No. Your going to have the last laugh now, so just be you, no one else. I’ve always had a mind of who cares what they think or say because in the end they just wasted their time not yours. They’ve given you the motivation to show what you can bring to the table. You may lose confidence here and there but just stay positive and remember do it for you, not for them.