Make a difference

Blogging is my escape from reality for a bit. I’m not saying my life is shit, like all of us sometimes we need something to escape the world. I remember the first time blogging I didn’t know what I wanted to blog about or where I wanted to start. Then I realize why do I want to make my blog perfect if it’s my escape? I shouldn’t stress about it. It’s my escape so I should write what I want. Things just come to my mind and I just start jotting things down to write about. Soon it became my place to rant, talk, give advice and today I’m proud to say I’m helping those that message me for help. I never thought I would be helping people but i come to realize I am. Sometimes I get those thank you, or even people asking me to go in depth. I don’t do this because I want to gain followers and all that, I do it to help those that are going through somethings. Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help but over the Internet you don’t see or know the other person on the other side so you just rant.

Do something that changes you and someone else’s life. Go out and achieve your dreams or goals of the day. You ain’t going to go anywhere just sitting on your butt and just talking about it. If you really want it, it doesn’t take much to make a plan and do it. What are you waiting for? Everyday we’re all growing but one day something might happen to you and you will lay on your coffin while everyone knows you as just that person. Make a difference in your life. Not everything has to be about money. I’m not doing this for money, I do it because I have passion in learning everyday from everything and everyone around me. When you make achievements things don’t have to be big sometimes doing just one little thing can make a difference. That one thing can be donating your old clothes for the needed ones, cleaning the house to see a smile on your spouse’s face, or giving a stranger a smile on the streets. I’m in downtown Vancouver everyday so I have people all ages give me a smile down the streets. Not because they want your number, or talk. It’s a way of saying having a good day. I go to school in a women environment and sometimes it’s so nice seeing a smile from females that are from different departments.

When I was younger I use to be the type that never smiles unless I know you. I grew up with bullies so as I reached my teens I started to be the mean one and when someone use to talk I’d confront them. So for about 5 years I was the type to not smile. And another 2 years because I was with someone that wanted me to not be a happy person and took things the wrong way. Everything you do everyday benefits yourself and someone else. You wake up everyday for yourself to achieve your goals. You open doors for a elder or a female because you have morals and for them it locks your face in their head because there is still these type of people out here.

Make a change in your everyday life or a change to achieve your dreams. We need more people to do things out of the blue and kindness will grow around us. Good comes to those that do good for people and not selfish of themselves.


Maybe it’s time to let go 

Nights turn to sleepless crying night. Days turn to sleep all day. I don’t know how to say this but wish that I never took this road or wish to rewind to the good old days again. I’m stuck in the middle of being afraid. I guess it is true I’ll always be the one who is the weak one. But what can I say, I don’t blame anyone but me. I’m not prefect I scream and get mad because I have so much bottled up inside me. That’s what I get for never being open about my soft side because I don’t show that side of me like I use to. I remember I use to be open about everything. I was comfortable talking about things no matter who you are and then as I grew up. I start to realize people take me for granted. I start to shut people off and just live my life without those people. 

Then my life started to go through bumps because when you shut those ones around you, you start to feel alone. Those bumps start to come back into my life now. Where I just want to distant myself from everything and everyone again. Take a plane to where I was suppose to be and finish my career. Start off fresh because I don’t know who I am no more. For once maybe I’ll finally stop faking a smile and stop lying that everything is ok. Because I don’t want those around me to worry. I put myself last and that’s probably why I don’t love myself. I speak from a positive aspect in my blog because I don’t want my readers to go through this struggle. With no one giving you a hand, no one able to comfort you, and no one really there. When your at this point you start to get selfish about yourself because you feel all yourself is what you have. 

12 years ago I took this stupid survey with some friends over at my house “how will you die”. I was in 6th grade at this time, so I wasn’t smart or familiar with the real world. My results came out and it said “suicide”. I didn’t know what it meant until I grew up. This still haunts me after 12 years because it feels like that’s how it would end. I had nights where I wanted to but I quickly called the help line. But there were times I just sat in my car staring out in the ocean and cried because that’s all you can do when your mind messes with you. Especially when you have someone up above you. Losing someone through death or heartbreaks hurt. It doesn’t matter if your the one who made that decision. It still hurts. 

Next month, its mother day. I’m a mother to a lost child. Imagine knowing at that time you had to do what’s right but everyday it hurts you. You felt the bond as a mother and then it’s gone. It drives you crazy everyday because there is not a day that you think of your baby. All you want is your baby and when things in life get hard that’s who you want to be with. 



You lose your self more and more everyday. Where you have no appiete to eat anymore. Life without goals, energy,  looking forward to anything and you distant yourself from everyone. You constantly find ways to get back up but you can’t. You cry more than you eat. Everything hurts. You try to get up but you can’t. You want to die but you don’t want to be selfish. It hurts so much and there is nothing you can do. You don’t want to find help or tell anyone because no one knows what’s it like to be in your shoes. 
Ice cream and dessert use to solve all my problems. Now it no longer does. Smoking use to make me more calm but it doesn’t no more. Running to my loved ones use to slove everything but it no longer does no more. I only have myself. In a world where your depress you only have yourself. You do everything you can to wipe your tears away but it no longer is useful because you cry so much to a point there is no tears. 

I started to blog because of depression, in many ways it encourage me to open up more. Though I don’t blog personally about my life, I take a different aspect to express my feelings. Days that I’ve become upset I open my laptop or my phone and just start blogging away to get my mind off it. Sometimes the best thing to do in order to overcome depression is writing because it’s hard to tell someone but it’s not hard to write how you feel out. Things will get better maybe not now but it will. 

Sometimes you just have to hold on to yourself. Sometimes you just got to brush yourself off and just not let depression take over you. It’s hard but believe in yourself you can do it. No matter how hard it can be. At some point you got to fight it and not be afraid of depression. “Your beautiful, your smart in your own ways, your loved and cherished. Don’t be so hard on yourself, sometimes when things just don’t go the way you want it, just let it be. Let time figure it out” 

Your not alone. 


Do what they think you can’t do 

I’m sure everyone is familiar with this topic but not everyone has the courage to follow it. Why? Fear. Fear that if you do it, you might fail and beileve that you can’t do it. Fear that you just aren’t good enough. Fear that your just not made for this. Fear that the outcome won’t satisfy anyone. But why does it matter to them? Why do they’re opinions, humiliations, responses matter so much to you? Because we live in a world where we grew up that people impression matters. It shouldn’t matter. Living in a city that involves having nice clothes, luxury cars, looking good and going to fine places growing up is tough. In school I was pick on for not having those things, beileve me it was the worst coming home crying because I was made fun of. I was left out because I wasn’t the cool kids. 

But when I finally got those things, it didn’t matter, because people still call you out for not having the latest design, that’s not even in or it’s fake. As I was in senior I finally realize no matter what you have or do people will still humiliate you. When everyone looked at me that I’ll never be good at something I showed them I could do it better and then what? Nothing changes the way people will look at you. So why are we here trying to impress others? When you should be doing it for yourself. 10 years down the road the same people will either be sucking up to you or looking down at you still. Why do we want that? Those people shouldn’t be in your life. You were brought into this world to enjoy your life. Not satisfying someone else’s life. 

So do what they think you can’t do. Don’t worry about what others are going to say. What they say should not matter. Don’t let them put you down, give it your best. If you fail, at least you tried and you can always do it again. It’s not the end of the world if you can’t do something, we all have different weakness and strength. But you won’t ever know your weakness or strength if you haven’t tried. The best feeling is proving the people who look down at you wrong. After that they can say what they want and it shouldn’t bother you no more. 

From my experience with bullies, it’s best to stay quite and let them watch what you can do. Bullies are just there because they need attention, they want to be recognize but don’t give them that attention. They gain strength from your attention. Show them what you can do and haters you should be ashamed of yourself.

Advise, Just the beginning

Remember being young? 

Remember when we were young? How we all wanted to grow up? But now we just want to be  young again. Someone once told me live your young days to the fullest, don’t worry about being old or else your not living it right. It is true. We use to hate going to school, we use to just want to get out of there and start our life. But as we look back we think “I wish I never took school for granted.” Now what is so good about the real world. Nothing but being able to stay out late, legal to drink and get into clubs, paying bills and taking care of yourself. It’s not everyday someone takes care of our bills, our health or our problems. 

Now that we’ve grown up we just want to escape reality with no problems. And not live with those problems. We ask ourselves why are we put into these sticky problems? Why do we have to deal with it? Life sometimes throw obstacles in our life like a math problem, where we have this amount of money, how do we maintain it, now we have a kid with some milk money coming in, how do we save more of it, we have a spouse working two job with one working minimum wage and the other working part time getting paid $20/hr. How much can they save up at the end of the month altogether? Without English we wouldn’t be able to read, without math we wouldn’t be able to budget our money, without science we wouldn’t be able to cure our health, without cooking class we wouldn’t know how to cook, without sports we wouldn’t be able to be active, without music we wouldn’t know how to enjoy fun and without art we wouldn’t know details. 

So stay in school because what you learn will carry with you into the future. The future is filled with obstacles with different things stuck in one problem. You want to know how to problem solve so when life hits you with buying luxury things you know how to earn it, you know how to budget life and you know how to have extra money. You never want to fall out of the category of knowing how to get what you want. And you want to take this with you so you don’t have to live out on the streets.

Life is hard and crazy but if you know how to give life the craziest come back, it will be scared of you. People ask how do some people have their life so prefect with no obstacles? Well they don’t, their problems are more huge than others. The more you have, the more obstacles you got to deal with. Because in the end if they don’t know how to stay prefect they won’t be able to function what’s it like when things aren’t given to them no more. So take this as a life lesson and worry about your own life. You only live one life, why worry about someone else’s life? Do you, not someone else. 


Love yourself 

It was a normal day, a day without any predictions that today would fall down hill. Soon before I knew I was on the bed unconscious of what just happen. My head was pounding, all I could hear was “Babe, babe, babe” slowly I started to come back. Out of breath, unaware of what happen, and in pain. I had collapsed while I was opening the door, fell backwards hit my head on the counter and did a turn with my face on the floor. My legs were shaking. I felt like my whole body just became weak and numb.

Today I realize how weak I was, how fatigue I am and how something like this can happen to me. I can’t explain this feeling I have but a feeling that it was empty and all I wanted to do was cry. I was embarrassed, I was so sorry for what just happen, I was thankful at the same time that my man was there. In my mind all I could think was what if he wasn’t there. What if I was in public? What if i was driving? What if I was home alone? I just bursted in tears, my heart was beating to a point we just held each other tight.

He reassured me that if I needed to go hospital he would take me, that he would be there. He reassured me constantly if I was ok. He reassured me that he will take time off work for me. He reassured me with food and fluid to get my body back to normal. He reassured me that no matter how weak I am he will take care of me and his love won’t change for me but love me more. I felt more relax at this time.

Today was a warning sign that I needed to focus on my health. I needed to take care of myself more. I needed to start getting check ups. After today many things in my life didn’t matter having nice clothes, making money, driving a nice car what matters right now is my health, the love of my life and my family. It’s hard to explain until something happens to you. Take this as an advice to love yourself more, take care of your health and spend whatever what you have left with your loved ones. Because you don’t want to waste your precious moments on the most latest LV bags, the most latest updated fast cars or on stuipd materials. How can you have those things but not love yourself and those around you first.

Money is just a price, if money could buy good health wouldn’t people never get sick. There would be no hospitals. There would be no one dying from being sick. We would all be healthy and live long lives. But money can’t buy good health. As a Chinese saying “If you want beauty, you need to take care of yourself and not worry about beauty” 



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No matter how hard the road is, you can make it

People look for happiness every where, up and down the road of life. We look for it when were awake, when were sleeping and dreaming. Sometimes that happiness you got to lay back and find it within your heart. If happiness was getting  100% on a test, then what would happen if you fail? If happiness was not arguing with your spouse then what would happen if you argue with your spouse? If happiness was having all the luxury things in your life then what would happen if you become in debt and bankrupt?

As you can see we all think happiness is when things are good in life. But we don’t worry about the things that aren’t good in life because we think what we have or accomplish won’t fail. There are days that you will fail but what are you going to do when everyday was a happy day to you and the moment something bad happens you can’t pick yourself up. Why does this happen? This happens because we don’t cherish these happy times enough instead we think “We got there nothing will happen or everything is good, nothing will happen.” It’s the simplest things we take for granted everyday. If your having a happy time with your spouse cherish it and don’t take it for granted. If getting into honor roll list makes you happy, keep going don’t think I’m doing well I will still be honor roll next semester. If your happy times are spending it with your kids, do it everyday and cherish those moments. If you find happiness in your business, keep on growing it, keep on pushing yourself forward.

It is a mistake that we all make at times, we don’t push that happiness on going instead we enjoy that moment. We don’t find ways how can we always be like this and how do we cope with it when bad things does happen. We got to always push forward and try to make everyday a happy day. When were happy, the bad things don’t matter. This is why people become really upset when their happiness is no longer happiness and they tend to give up because it’s hard to cope with it. The key to finding happiness is rewinding how you got here. What is the definition of happiness to you? Here is a little tip when things fail

  1. Take a step back from all the pain, relax. You got to relax or else your going to want to give up your happiness.
  2. What is happiness to you?
  3. Rewind, how did you get to this happy moment? If it is a business, relationship or your exams failing, think of what work you put in to make it happen.
    • Business and exam: Was it staying up late night researching, was it having a help of a friend, was it putting your time and effort in everyday? Did you work way more harder because you were motivated? What motivated you?
    • Relationship: Find out what got your relationship so far, why is this obstacle harder than the last? Is it time spent and now there are little time spent together? Is it now that your comfortable, there is nothing to do? This is what I’ve learnt, “You should never stop going on dates, even when your married or even when you reached your milestone year in a relationship.”
  4. Now that we got all that figure out in our mind, are you a bit relieve now? Now it’s just a matter of time that we put it all together, we put work into it. We basically go back to where we all started out in the beginning when we had nothing.
  5. If you want something and your mind set is going to get it, it isn’t hard to turn your downs into ups again. No matter how hard the road was, now that you took that road once it will be easier this time.

Well now that you get what I mean, one day what you have can be gone. Where things you accomplish can turn to temporary downhill. But that is OK, because it’s the process of growing and learning everyday. You make mistakes and now you learn from it. Never take happiness for granted.

Advise, Ladies

Ladies, respect yourself.

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Why are some ladies throwing yourself out there just to get attention from men? Why are some ladies ruining people relationships? Why are some ladies accepting cat calling? Why are some ladies throwing themselves on the first date? Why are some ladies think you look so hot in a short dress with high heels? Why are some ladies getting so drunk that they’re walking the walk of shame? Why are you ladies not growing up?

Ladies, you are the pure gold to a man. What do men like about gold? They like them to themselves. Reserve yourself, believe me you will find the one. No one likes a guy or girl that’s been pass around. Your not a hooker, you’re a lady. If you’re a hooker and that’s how you want to make a living, OK well that’s you but you’re not a keeper. Be conservative, you don’t need to be wearing skin showing  to attract a man, that’s for you and your man alone. You can still look good with no cleavage, no legs or a tight ass being visible. If your still young and think that’s what guys like, baby girl I’m sorry but when you get old and you don’t have that no more what does he like? Don’t say plastic surgeries because your going to sag either way.

FIRST DATE: Ladies, it’s time to grow up. Stop throwing yourself out there. It’s fine to act interested, but he has to be interest in you too! Or else your throwing away yourself too easy. Don’t try so hard for him to want you! Just be you! If he doesn’t like you, believe me he wouldn’t be stuttering, shaking or even be going out on a date with you! He’s not going to come out for the food that he might have to pay for! Ladies, you got to stop expecting men to pay on the first date!  Learn to not rely on a man like that. Your just as hardworking as he is. If he is going to pay for dinner at least pay for something nice after dinner THAT YOU PLANNED OUT. Stop thinking men is supposed to do everything the first date. I hate hearing women out there still expecting men are supposed to pay for everything. It’s not right. Now imagine if you were the man, and don’t say your going to pay for everything because I know you won’t.

Take care of yourself: Eat good and be healthy. It doesn’t hurt to get your nails done every 2 months. But keep them real, you don’t want to have long fake pointy nails that you can’t do anything. Go give yourself a head spa every 6 months, believe me it’s worth it and it feels good. If you live in the city of Vancouver, BC here are places I go to that are good hair salon and nail salons. Do some shopping once a month for yourself, reward yourself after a hardworking months. Have a bubble bath, put on some tunes and have a glass of wine. Eat fruits while your watching television and reading. Give time for you to rewind. Be good to yourself and love yourself.

Pure nail bar:  

I would advise you to go to the one on West 4th because they have great customer service and are patience with customers. If you do pop by there, Thao is the one to go to. I do not advise you to go to the one on Main Street because they don’t have good customer services, they like to gossip about you. They are not gentle.

Luminous nail spa:

This is one of best place to get your nails done, if you like them to last long and not break. I advise you to go here! The worker here is wonderful. Linda the boss of Luminous knows what her customer likes, she always makes it feel welcoming. When it gets busy, she actually does people services. Not like other managers who just opens the business and has the workers doing everything. I recommend Lucy and Linda to do your services. Lucy is an amazing woman, she is gentle, takes her time and very patient.


I did my hair treatment, haircut and hair styled here. It’s really relaxing, their hair wash chairs are sofa sit backs, the most comfortable hair wash i ever had. When the weather is cold, your hair becomes dry with dandruff I advise you to get a hair treatment to restore your natural hair.

Just Be You: You don’t look good in a dress like that on a cold weather day. Yes I know you want to look good while you’re partying. You can still look good with nice skinny jeans, a leather jacket with some boots or heels. If your going to party and planning to get drunk please don’t do the walk of shame. As a woman, you look irresponsible, not classy and not independent. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this to girls in the past “know your limits and drink within it!” Were in public, it’s embarrassing for the one who is taking care of you. No one likes taking care of drunk people. It doesn’t matter if your her friend or his girlfriend, you make them look stupid because you can’t control yourself.

Tips for you: Your days are still young but you don’t want to use your young stupid days getting on or the most talked about girl. Learn to escape that lifestyle and cherish it more. Work toward goals and not party every weekend. Once you reach your goals and where you want to be, hey then it’s fine do what makes you happy. Be a woman, a classy one that doesn’t give a crap about the outside world, just yourself and your loved ones. Girls, you might say I’m a boring person who stays at home on weekend. I am the person who stays home on weekends, when you found the love of your life, it’s all about spending time with him. You will do everything together. But your still young I can’t tell you what to do with your life, it’s up to you. I’m just the fairy godmother who is here to give you tips on being a better you.


Regret: Smoking

Never ever in your life light up a cigarette and inhale. I say this because the one thing i regret in life is smoking. For those of  you who don’t smoke, stay that way. There are better things out there then smoking. I say this because in the end it’s not worth it. It’s been almost a year since i started smoking. I use to hate people who smoke, i don’t go near them, if I had friends that smoke I didn’t want them around me. We all started something for a reason, I started smoking because things weren’t going well in my life. One of my friend hand me a smoke and thought that I wouldn’t get addicted. The truth was I did because I wasn’t me. I use to have friends that handed me a smoke, I threw it because I was me and I had that mind “Why kill my body? I have so much to live for.” But I lost that mind set and didn’t care about anything about myself at that time. Smoking had made a big impact on my life and those who care about me. Everyday my parents live knowing that I might have cancer, it hurts. Everyday my boyfriend lives knowing that it’s ruining my life and me. Everyday my friend lives knowing she shouldn’t had gave me that one smoke. If you want to know what smoking really does to you. Well I’m about to tell you 10 things how it will effects you.

  1. It drains your energy
  2. You rely on smoking every time your mad and stress
  3. You get short of breath
  4. You don’t have an appetite = lose weight (those of you who want to look skinny or lose weight this isn’t the way to do it, i’ll show you a proper way on my next blog”
  5. You have mood swings
  6. You become lazy
  7. Your body becomes fatigue
  8. Your killing your body slowly and soon enough death
  9. You will look old and ugly
  10. You aren’t yourself no more

These are just a few things that some of you may relate to who are smokers. But i hope those that are non smoker, hopefully it scares you a bit. People say one smoke won’t kill you, while dear readers it does. You just inhaled 2000 chemicals into your system now you tell me that it doesn’t kill you. You must be out of your mind. If your unlucky you just triggered something in your body that now becomes a big thing. If I was to go back in time I wish I never started. But now it’s a life lesson of trying to quit. Those of you who are still young and beautiful, it isn’t cool to smoke. You make yourself look like an idiot, I say this because that’s how I look at people when I didn’t smoke. Those of you who are old, you want to live long right? Well live long and healthy. I don’t live in any of your shoes, so I don’t know what planes you been on or what path you walked on. But do this for you, don’t ruin yourself, there is more to you deep down.